blaaaaaaaah

Four turn offs.

1. Stupidity

2. Hypocrisy

3. Judgmental tendencies

4. Bad hygiene?

Six things you wish you’d never done.

1. One through Four

2. Are all incriminating

3. Stupid childhood pranks

4. So I plead the fifth.

5. When i was a little kid i once got mad at my dog for following me. I felt so bad after for a longgg time.

6. Trusted this crazy person. hahahaha i only laugh at how insane that person is.

Seven things that cross your mind a lot.

1. What my children would look like

2. What to eat?

3. Where are you?

4. How unfair life can be and how fortunate i am.

5. How paul and john wrote 200 amazing songs.

6. I want a puppyyy

7. How I hate getting wet at work.

Eight ways to win your heart.

It’s really more about you than me.

1. Be really passionate about something. Anything really. Passionate people intrigue me.

2. I love it when i get surprised

3. Love yourself

4. Respect yourself.

5. Make me laugh.

6. Be genuine, I will eventually find out if you aren’t

7. Don’t be a flake.

8. Show me you have commitment and determination with the things in your life.

9 things about myself

1. I always assume the best from everyone. Then they let me down slowly. Some slower than others, but everyone does in the end.

2. I am very aware of most of my faults.

3. My greatest weakness would have to be my extremely unpredictable feelings of sympathy. I often times become attached to artists, musicians, fictional character’s, even if they are not wholly good people.  I am able to feel emphatic concern for the ones I am close to, it’s just sometimes i feel indifference when i hear about kids in africa dying. Other times, however, something like Invisible Children can bring me to tears. It just depends I guess. I know it’s normal, but I only wish I could feel equally compassionate for everyone and also have this compassion reciprocated.

4. I have “bad” habits, but so do you. Let’s not judge each other.

5. I believe there are many many positive aspects of communism, but I would never, ever want for us to become communists. I believe that what works best in reality is a free market with anti-trust laws. I don’t think its right that in many free markets of poor countries, only a few of the people have the majority of the money. I believe in a healthy balance of wealth. Carlos Slim Helú of Mexico is worth $60.6 Billion. We’ll use GDP as an easy way to measure over standard of living. The GDP of Mexico is 1.1 Trillion. He alone is worth 5.5% of his countries GDP. I mean you think Bill gates is rich? he is worth $53 billion. Our GDP is 14.6 Trillion. That is only .36%. To have one man make 5.5% of his countries GDP is absurd. According to wikipedia, mexico has 47% living under the poverty line if we compare by assets. He is only getting richer and richer. The rich have money to risk, so they have money to get richer. Lakshmi Niwas Mittal worth $29 billion, made close to $10 billion dollars in 2010. Thats one year. Absolutely absurd.

6. I can’t be mad at someone who means well.

7. I think I have finally come to truly realize that physical beauty is over prioritized. Yes, they are pleasing to the eyes, but what else is there. So, no, I don’t want to hang out with your “hot” friends if they are boring. and that is not a response to anyone, i don’t actually have people inviting me to hang with their hot friends. haha

8. For a long time in my life I wanted to make sushi for a living.

9. If I have ever told you anything personal about me, that means that I…

A: trust you

B: legitimately believe you can help me

and

C: will ultimately regret it.

I haven’t come here in a long time to write an entry. Most times i find writing in a blog to be more of a chore than an interest. Luckily for my lonely tumblr account, i had on facebook. I just love facebook. I have had several interesting conversations on there and i always wish i kept it. So there, im going to copy it down and remember it.

In short: Really what i wanted to say is that we can’t assume we are important. I hate when people think that they are more important than you because they have a “bigger” purpose. Purpose can be such a corrupting and selfish though to have.

Here’s the actual conversation. for a key: my thoughts are unbolded, what i said is italicized. Bold is other peoples comments.

____________________________________________________

This very much intrigued me. I felt this way alot. My friend Boris told me about a poem he read recently about the cycle of nature from natures point of view. We humans see winter as dead, spring as growth and summer as full bloom. Nature see’s the snowy winter as a time to heal, to recoup, to grow fresh blades of grass, untrampled by humans. I feel that its time for the earth to heal.

____________________________________________________

K: “reminds of me of this from the matrix:
“Every mammal on this planet instinctively develops a natural equilibrium with the surrounding environment but you humans do not. You move to an area and you multiply and multiply until every natural re…source is consumed and the only way you can survive is to spread to another area. There is another organism on this planet that follows the same pattern. Do you know what it is? A virus. Human beings are a disease, a cancer of this planet.”

____________________________________________________

Jo: i had this discussion earlier today… what do you think the purpose of human existence is?

to live for god? to pursue happiness? to love? to be loved?

____________________________________________________

 who says there is a purpose to our existence.
although i do admit it is nice to start from the assumption that we all have some sort of “purpose” on our planet that is different from all the purposes of every other animal’s purpose. It’s nice to think other animals are here to serve ou…r most important purpose on this planet. however i think its part of this mentally that allows us to justify colonizing areas of the earth, proclaiming them the property of groups of people. and from this we can justify destroying the earth and killing animals because they are serving our more “important” purpose.

____________________________________________________

M: i’m not really sure what the purpose is, josh.. but i do know that we shouldn’t be wasting resources all the damn time and actually take care of our environment for once. i know there are some good people out there, but most of the time, it…’s the bad guys who always win. HAHA i know that sounds so pessimistic, but stilll.

__________________________________________________

J: But justifications are what they will always be: justifications. It’s true that having a purpose can be used to justify just about anything, and in that anything include acts society deem as horrible and what not, but to blame having purpose as the fault of those who use purpose to justify their deeds I find troubling.

__________________________________________________

oh thats not what im saying at all. i was just elaborating the other side of thought. i thought he was jumping too soon to the conclusion that since humans were destroying the earth, then there must be some sort of meaning to this life. I m…ight have also jumped to conclusions but i think he interpreted it as an “end of the earth” Armageddon reference. I was showing him the possible dangers of thinking in that way. Just because we destroy the earth, doesn’t mean we have a purpose. In the realm of nature, purposes don’t really exist. Purpose just means importance. in the realm of nature we are nothing. we aren’t even quarks to a polymer. we’re not a flash on the screen. I was just warning him that thats sort of thought can be corrupting. To immediately assume that we have a purpose on this planet, helps me justify destroying it. Now for a Beatles analogy: for example, Sir Paul McCartney, insanely rich. worth over 400million pounds. No one should use that much money in their life. Money is just a token to exchange for service or resources. Mccartney once argued with Apple to not let his music be on iTunes because he believed the Beatles are worth more than a $1 a song. Of all the musicians in the world, paul mccartney makes the most (consistently) to play in one night. He gets paid something like 2.2 million dollars a concert. That is insane. When i wanted to see him decent tickets were in the $200. Thats one seat. To see One Beatle. Why does he do all this? Because he believes he has a greater purpose. Alot of parents neglect their children to work. Many rich children first learn to speak spanish because their parents had mexican nannys to raise their kids. Kids don’t have as close of a relationship with their parents because their parents believe in opportuinity cost too much. They believe that their time is valuable. Haven’t you noticed why adults are always in a rush. Of all people, it is the richest that is prioritizing work over raising their children. It’s always nice to know that maybe we don’t have a purpose and our existence is going to mean nothing in the span of history. At this rate of destruction and population increase, we are seriously screwed. I’m not even talking about global warming, or any other theories. I’m talking about real evidence. Habitat destruction for farmland, and those giant several mile long whirlpools of plastic bottles in the ocean, over fishing i mean the list is endless. we need to take less from the earth, and we can start by believing we don’t need excess, that the earth and its limited resources are not meant for us to consume to our content. The word purpose is what i have the most trouble with. why does everything have to have a purpose. Why can’t things just exist. Why can’t things just be. Everything on the earth, in societies mind serves us. It has a purpose to us. We don’t destroy sequoia national park because its purpose is to be a nature preserve. I want a baby because its purpose will be to become what i couldnt. See everyone puts purposes on things that shouldnt. In nature purpose doesn’t exist. Things happen because they just do. Purpose is a human concept. Animals work by instinct, and if what they do is determined by instinct, then they can’t possibly have a purpose so they are lesser than us. It is this mentally that helps us separate nature and its animals from us humans. This purpose is the line in the sand. Instead we should work together, as inhabitants of this earth, not because we want to serve a purpose. We should do it out of pure respect for our earth. Maybe i correlate purpose to selfishness too much.

To be back on topic: In no way do i actually believe that that is what creates all evil-ness. I would never consider questioning to have a purpose is a bad thing at all. I do it on a nearly daily basis, that’s why i felt like i needed to say something. also, i don’t believe killing animals is wrong. I eat meat. I just think people’s diet consists too much of meat. to take more than what you need is just selfish. One fish or chicken breast and a bunch of veggies is what we were meant to eat on a daily basis.

____________________________________________________

Jo: haha, no i never jumped to the conclusion that a “purpose” justifies killing the planet, it was more of an open ended question because us as humans can give each other a purpose, if it’s to reproduce, to save the planet, to pursue happiness, etc.

____________________________________________________

J: “I might have also jumped to conclusions but i think he interpreted it as an “end of the earth” Armageddon reference.” Yeah, David I guess that’s where I wasn’t connecting with ya. I didn’t interpret his comment to be like that at all.”Pur…pose is a human concept.” That’s true. That doesn’t make it wrong.I agree with you that many humans have caused many a pain to other humans and to this planet from their varied purposes in life, whether it be greed or as you’ve said yourself the misplaced “white man’s burden” that we learned about in Ms. Gonzales’ class. But what about the good that has come out? There is no mention of the lives saved, the habits taken care of, nor the love spread due to people’s purposes in life. Perhaps you do “correlate purpose to selfishness too much.”“The word purpose is what i have the most trouble with. why does everything have to have a purpose. Why can’t things just exist. Why can’t things just be.” - Yet people don’t need any purpose to continue to destroy the environment. People don’t need to believe that they’re doing anything purposeful to maintain a wanton destruction of everything 

And for myself, I believe that everyone has a purpose because I believe that there’s a higher power that has defined each of lives to serve a purpose. I have been taught that our purpose is to “praise and give glory to God” but exactly how that is to come about I believe manifests itself quite differently among individuals.  

____________________________________________________

My annoyance with the word “purpose” is just because of the elitist air about. Because all our “purposes” (human invention) are so vast and unrelated, we all kind of rank ourselves compared to others. We, …as America’s suburban youth, have been trained to look down upon our gardener’s, our busboys, etc. We believe we are destined for more than them, and doing such a job would just be a waste of our existence. We allow the system to exploit these people for cheap labor because their “purpose” is that and only that.Purpose is also why we are scared to die. Most people at our age, have seen death enough to realize that it is part of our reality. Now i have seen some stupid kids that are wreckless, but for the most part, death is very real. Now most people wouldn’t be scared to die, if they lived a “full” life. I’ve met many old people who were so at peace with dying, even if they didn’t believe in god. They believed they lived a full life. I think that most times people are scared to die because at that specific point in their life, they believe that they haven’t fulfilled their purpose. They believe they were meant to become things, instead of taking life for what it is. What i see happening is that people become very depressed that they are not who they want to be. That is why many kids are heartbroken over college acceptance letters, denied from majors etc etc. When they realize that their GPA is too low to go to med school etc they beat themselves up because they had set a purpose for themselves. Many college students put themselves through unpleasurable things now in hope for a better purpose later. Although constantly changing, my personal philosophy on life right now is to just do things that you enjoy. And that doesn’t mean be a lazy bum. No that means look for enjoyment in the things you do now. By creating purposes, you create “chores”. Things that you now do that don’t bring you closer to fulfilling your purpose(s) now becomes a chore. walking the dogs is a chorse, taking the trash out is a chore. instead, enjoying life as it is, ignorant of a “purpose”, can be extremely enjoyable.

Here’s this really great quote from this book i’ve been reading for several years now.

“‘Why do I judge my day by how much I have “accomplished?”’

‘When I get to where I can just enjoy just lying on the rug picking up lint balls i will no longer be too ambitious.’

‘I’m holding this cat in my arms so it can sleep, and what more is there.’” 

& really, what more is there to life? 

 ______________________________________________

‎to Josh: “haha, no i never jumped to the conclusion that a “purpose” justifies killing the planet, it was more of an open ended question because us as humans can give each other a purpose, if it’s to reproduce, to save the planet, to pursue happine…ss, etc.”

Thats the exact mentally i want to step away from. Let’s NOT give everythign a purpose. We should just exist the way we are. Reproducing, “saving” the planet (saving usually means conserving) and pursuing happiness can all by done without having it become a purpose. Animals don’t have a purpose. You can’t argue that my dogs don’t reproduce, aren’t happy, or that they have a significant eco footprint. This explanation has helped me not worry about our purpose so much.

I will keep updating as this goes on. I miss these types of conversations alot.

until i went on jon everett’s tumblr.

i think ima start it.

Day One: Ten things you want to say to ten different people right now.
Day Two: Nine things about yourself.
Day Three: Eight ways to win your heart.
Day Four: Seven things that cross your mind a lot.
Day Five: Six things you wish you’d never done.
Day Six: Five people who mean a lot (in no order whatsoever)
Day Seven: Four turn offs.
Day Eight: Three turn ons.
Day Nine: Two smileys that describe your life right now.
Day Ten: One confession.

Day One:

1. I miss you and wish every day that you were here. I want your help. I forgot what you sound or smell like.

2. I wish we could go back in time. Or go to the future. But now, now is bad.

3. I know we don’t talk alot anymore but you will forever be one of my best friends, no matter what just because we have so many memories together.

4. I always feel that you don’t like me. It makes me sad because we used to be such great friends. We say ya let’s hang out but it doesn’t happen because in reality we’re both indifferent.

5. I wish we were closer. I wish we didn’t think so differently. I often try to be interested in the things you are interested in just so we’d have something to talk about but it never last. I feel like i can’t be open with you.

6. I’m pretty glad i got to know your true colors and i’m glad things came through the way they did this past year. I’ll miss our memories and talks about life but i don’t know what of it to believe anymore. Maybe its all just one miscommunication, but i know we’re both not going to make the effort.

Im just gunna say im done with that so heres the last 4 in half sarcasm…

7. You are a great songwriter. Yes I like the one about lucy in the sky with diamonds. Your part in A Day in the Life made the song. yes, it was good. P.S. your son is lame, yoko failed.

8. Yes, you were a good songwriting partner for mr. 7 and i’m sorry that you will forever live in his shadow. i like the one about yesterday. Let it be was really neat too. I envy the love you had with your wife so much. One day i hope my marriage is as lovely as that one was. Sorry about every single marriage other than that one though. Good luck!

9. I love how much you matured over your years in that one band. That one track about how Something moves, it’s pretty unique, i guess. And thanks for warning us that the sun is coming. It always makes me feel good. Man, i really wish you were still alive. You were my first favorite guitarist.

10. Personally, I like octopuses garden. now i can’t speak for everyone else. and your work for thomas the tank engine was groundbreaking, really really crucial stuff for the development of children’s progrramming.

I haven’t come here in a long time to write an entry. Most times i find writing in a blog to be more of a chore than an interest. Luckily for my lonely tumblr account, i had on facebook. I just love facebook. I have had several interesting conversations on there and i always wish i kept it. So there, im going to copy it down and remember it.

In short: Really what i wanted to say is that we can’t assume we are important. I hate when people think that they are more important than you because they have a “bigger” purpose. Purpose can be such a corrupting and selfish though to have.

Here’s the actual conversation. for a key: my thoughts are unbolded, what i said is italicized. Bold is other peoples comments.

____________________________________________________________________________________

This very much intrigued me. I felt this way alot. My friend Boris told me about a poem he read recently about the cycle of nature from natures point of view. We humans see winter as dead, spring as growth and summer as full bloom. Nature see’s the snowy winter as a time to heal, to recoup, to grow fresh blades of grass, untrampled by humans. I feel that its time for the earth to heal.

____________________________________________________________________________________

K: “reminds of me of this from the matrix:
“Every mammal on this planet instinctively develops a natural equilibrium with the surrounding environment but you humans do not. You move to an area and you multiply and multiply until every natural re…source is consumed and the only way you can survive is to spread to another area. There is another organism on this planet that follows the same pattern. Do you know what it is? A virus. Human beings are a disease, a cancer of this planet.”

____________________________________________________________________________________

Jo: i had this discussion earlier today… what do you think the purpose of human existence is?

to live for god? to pursue happiness? to love? to be loved?

____________________________________________________________________________________

 who says there is a purpose to our existence.
although i do admit it is nice to start from the assumption that we all have some sort of “purpose” on our planet that is different from all the purposes of every other animal’s purpose. It’s nice to think other animals are here to serve ou…r most important purpose on this planet. however i think its part of this mentally that allows us to justify colonizing areas of the earth, proclaiming them the property of groups of people. and from this we can justify destroying the earth and killing animals because they are serving our more “important” purpose.

___________________________________________________________________________________

M: i’m not really sure what the purpose is, josh.. but i do know that we shouldn’t be wasting resources all the damn time and actually take care of our environment for once. i know there are some good people out there, but most of the time, it…’s the bad guys who always win. HAHA i know that sounds so pessimistic, but stilll.

____________________________________________________________________________________

J: But justifications are what they will always be: justifications. It’s true that having a purpose can be used to justify just about anything, and in that anything include acts society deem as horrible and what not, but to blame having purpose as the fault of those who use purpose to justify their deeds I find troubling.

____________________________________________________________________________________

oh thats not what im saying at all. i was just elaborating the other side of thought. i thought he was jumping too soon to the conclusion that since humans were destroying the earth, then there must be some sort of meaning to this life. I m…ight have also jumped to conclusions but i think he interpreted it as an “end of the earth” Armageddon reference. I was showing him the possible dangers of thinking in that way. Just because we destroy the earth, doesn’t mean we have a purpose. In the realm of nature, purposes don’t really exist. Purpose just means importance. in the realm of nature we are nothing. we aren’t even quarks to a polymer. we’re not a flash on the screen. I was just warning him that thats sort of thought can be corrupting. To immediately assume that we have a purpose on this planet, helps me justify destroying it. Now for a Beatles analogy: for example, Sir Paul McCartney, insanely rich. worth over 400million pounds. No one should use that much money in their life. Money is just a token to exchange for service or resources. Mccartney once argued with Apple to not let his music be on iTunes because he believed the Beatles are worth more than a $1 a song. Of all the musicians in the world, paul mccartney makes the most (consistently) to play in one night. He gets paid something like 2.2 million dollars a concert. That is insane. When i wanted to see him decent tickets were in the $200. Thats one seat. To see One Beatle. Why does he do all this? Because he believes he has a greater purpose. Alot of parents neglect their children to work. Many rich children first learn to speak spanish because their parents had mexican nannys to raise their kids. Kids don’t have as close of a relationship with their parents because their parents believe in opportuinity cost too much. They believe that their time is valuable. Haven’t you noticed why adults are always in a rush. Of all people, it is the richest that is prioritizing work over raising their children. It’s always nice to know that maybe we don’t have a purpose and our existence is going to mean nothing in the span of history. At this rate of destruction and population increase, we are seriously screwed. I’m not even talking about global warming, or any other theories. I’m talking about real evidence. Habitat destruction for farmland, and those giant several mile long whirlpools of plastic bottles in the ocean, over fishing i mean the list is endless. we need to take less from the earth, and we can start by believing we don’t need excess, that the earth and its limited resources are not meant for us to consume to our content. The word purpose is what i have the most trouble with. why does everything have to have a purpose. Why can’t things just exist. Why can’t things just be. Everything on the earth, in societies mind serves us. It has a purpose to us. We don’t destroy sequoia national park because its purpose is to be a nature preserve. I want a baby because its purpose will be to become what i couldnt. See everyone puts purposes on things that shouldnt. In nature purpose doesn’t exist. Things happen because they just do. Purpose is a human concept. Animals work by instinct, and if what they do is determined by instinct, then they can’t possibly have a purpose so they are lesser than us. It is this mentally that helps us separate nature and its animals from us humans. This purpose is the line in the sand. Instead we should work together, as inhabitants of this earth, not because we want to serve a purpose. We should do it out of pure respect for our earth. Maybe i correlate purpose to selfishness too much.

To be back on topic: In no way do i actually believe that that is what creates all evil-ness. I would never consider questioning to have a purpose is a bad thing at all. I do it on a nearly daily basis, that’s why i felt like i needed to say something. also, i don’t believe killing animals is wrong. I eat meat. I just think people’s diet consists too much of meat. to take more than what you need is just selfish. One fish or chicken breast and a bunch of veggies is what we were meant to eat on a daily basis.

____________________________________________________________________________________

Jo: haha, no i never jumped to the conclusion that a “purpose” justifies killing the planet, it was more of an open ended question because us as humans can give each other a purpose, if it’s to reproduce, to save the planet, to pursue happiness, etc.

____________________________________________________________________________________

J: “I might have also jumped to conclusions but i think he interpreted it as an “end of the earth” Armageddon reference.” Yeah, David I guess that’s where I wasn’t connecting with ya. I didn’t interpret his comment to be like that at all.”Pur…pose is a human concept.” That’s true. That doesn’t make it wrong.I agree with you that many humans have caused many a pain to other humans and to this planet from their varied purposes in life, whether it be greed or as you’ve said yourself the misplaced “white man’s burden” that we learned about in Ms. Gonzales’ class. But what about the good that has come out? There is no mention of the lives saved, the habits taken care of, nor the love spread due to people’s purposes in life. Perhaps you do “correlate purpose to selfishness too much.”“The word purpose is what i have the most trouble with. why does everything have to have a purpose. Why can’t things just exist. Why can’t things just be.” - Yet people don’t need any purpose to continue to destroy the environment. People don’t need to believe that they’re doing anything purposeful to maintain a wanton destruction of everything 

And for myself, I believe that everyone has a purpose because I believe that there’s a higher power that has defined each of lives to serve a purpose. I have been taught that our purpose is to “praise and give glory to God” but exactly how that is to come about I believe manifests itself quite differently among individuals.  

____________________________________________________________________________________

My annoyance with the word “purpose” is just because of the elitist air about. Because all our “purposes” (human invention) are so vast and unrelated, we all kind of rank ourselves compared to others. We, …as America’s suburban youth, have been trained to look down upon our gardener’s, our busboys, etc. We believe we are destined for more than them, and doing such a job would just be a waste of our existence. We allow the system to exploit these people for cheap labor because their “purpose” is that and only that.Purpose is also why we are scared to die. Most people at our age, have seen death enough to realize that it is part of our reality. Now i have seen some stupid kids that are wreckless, but for the most part, death is very real. Now most people wouldn’t be scared to die, if they lived a “full” life. I’ve met many old people who were so at peace with dying, even if they didn’t believe in god. They believed they lived a full life. I think that most times people are scared to die because at that specific point in their life, they believe that they haven’t fulfilled their purpose. They believe they were meant to become things, instead of taking life for what it is. What i see happening is that people become very depressed that they are not who they want to be. That is why many kids are heartbroken over college acceptance letters, denied from majors etc etc. When they realize that their GPA is too low to go to med school etc they beat themselves up because they had set a purpose for themselves. Many college students put themselves through unpleasurable things now in hope for a better purpose later. Although constantly changing, my personal philosophy on life right now is to just do things that you enjoy. And that doesn’t mean be a lazy bum. No that means look for enjoyment in the things you do now. By creating purposes, you create “chores”. Things that you now do that don’t bring you closer to fulfilling your purpose(s) now becomes a chore. walking the dogs is a chorse, taking the trash out is a chore. instead, enjoying life as it is, ignorant of a “purpose”, can be extremely enjoyable.

Here’s this really great quote from this book i’ve been reading for several years now.

“‘Why do I judge my day by how much I have “accomplished?”’

‘When I get to where I can just enjoy just lying on the rug picking up lint balls i will no longer be too ambitious.’

‘I’m holding this cat in my arms so it can sleep, and what more is there.’”

& really, what more is there to life?

____________________________________________________________________________________

‎to Josh: “haha, no i never jumped to the conclusion that a “purpose” justifies killing the planet, it was more of an open ended question because us as humans can give each other a purpose, if it’s to reproduce, to save the planet, to pursue happine…ss, etc.”

Thats the exact mentally i want to step away from. Let’s NOT give everythign a purpose. We should just exist the way we are. Reproducing, “saving” the planet (saving usually means conserving) and pursuing happiness can all by done without having it become a purpose. Animals don’t have a purpose. You can’t argue that my dogs don’t reproduce, aren’t happy, or that they have a significant eco footprint. This explanation has helped me not worry about our purpose so much.

I will keep updating as this goes on. I miss these types of conversations alot.